Deserts Of California

The Promise

I’ve been here before

Made the same mistakes and then I

Passed through that door

Where it doesn’t matter anymore

I can breathe again

Take back my mother

I'm starting clean again

Then, I saw an angel flying

Flying right beside me in the air

And I made a promise to her

That I’d always try to get there

This time around

As I try to get it right, I fall to the ground

I hear my corner screaming to stay down

They told me that it would not be that easy for me

And I believed what I didn't know

Then, I see an angel lying

Lying right beside me in my bed

And I make a promise to her

Even if it’s only in my head

When I reach the end

Of this long journey oh, I feel

It’ll start again

I just hope that you’ll be with me then

And we’ll be together flying

Flying high above the fray

And there won’t be tomorrow

Because we’ll always have today

Because it will always be today

Eyes Of Sorrow

I was swimming in the frozen lake of love

Trying desperately to keep my head above

I went under and I saw the sky go out

Like the light from a hundred flames of doubt

Chorus:

And I could see clearly in my mind

All that is, forward and behind

And I learned all that I need to know

From your eyes, from your eyes of sorrow

Eyes of sorrow

You were standing in the shadow of the night

On the wing, on the edge, afraid of flight

As the mist in your eyes began to grow

You looked down on the frozen lake below

Chorus

As I lay now entangled in your bed

All my thoughts of escaping nearly dead

Then like a soldier from some forgotten war

I pick up my clothes and head for the door

Chorus:

And I could see clearly in my mind

All that is, all I left behind

And I learned all that I need to know

From your eyes, from your eyes of sorrow

Eyes of sorrow

It Changes

I can begin in another print I stand

Start a new direction waits for my hand

To turn the style as I walk on through

To end the dream and wake up anew

Day of the sun, an endless reign of words

Counting the one no one has ever heard

Don’t even need to reinvent the past

There is a plan written down too fast

Chorus:

And it changes right before our eyes

Yeah, it changes right before our eyes

I feel it now, the chrysalis is through

Body was broken but somehow I grew

There to believe that I could never die

Just watch the wind and the monarch fly

Chorus

Over the trees infinite the sky

Open the distance limited by

Never having reached the ending place

The road we’re on is enough to face and…

Chorus

Repeat Chorus

Deserts...cont.

Deserts Of California

I was driving through the deserts of California

From Modesto to the southern shore now

Chorus:

And when I turned that radio dial

That bible belt revival with no style

I listened to it for a little while

Then I had to turn it off

"Cause when it's time to pay that toll now

They're looking through you like you've got no soul now

You're digging deeper in that hole now

You know, you're never getting out again

Now, I'm still driving through the deserts of California

They try to preach to you, but they never warn you

Chorus

Ohhh, I'm alive now in the deserts of California

I've got water but my mouth is dry now

Chorus

When I reach that southern shore now

The sea salt splashes on that burn now

There's always something else to learn now

Familiar

In a hotel room

South of Market one night

I saw Jack Kerouac on a Bennie high

Speed-typing “Subterraneans,” and “Mexico City Blues”

I played through a reefer dream along with his haikus

Chorus:

And it was oh familiar, so familiar to me

Oh, oh familiar, I can see the soul in his eyes when he says,

“I’ll come down from my cross just long enough

To have a drink of wine

With a lone traveler on the Midnight Ghost

Whose soul’s half as lost as mine”

I choose the sword again

You tear through me with your pen

You stand by the door and then

I wonder if I can escape it

Watch a movie I saw before

Reread your books once more

Spend hours staring at the floor

I know what you’re gonna say before you say it

Chorus

The freight yard fills the air

A perfect road to nowhere

I stowaway and there is someone I know still waiting

Is she gone to me

Buried in the sea

I stand in the middle of silence while it rages on around me

Chorus:

And it’s oh, oh familiar, so familiar to me

Oh, oh I can see the soul in her eyes when she says,

“I’ll come down from my cross just long enough

To have a drink of wine

With a lone traveler on the Midnight Ghost

Whose soul’s half as lost as mine”

Repeat Chorus

Justice

Chorus:

I believe there’s some justice in this world sometimes

But not now

As we see young lives that are taken too soon

Not now

The streets of the city are walking high noon

Not now

We watch as the guilty are walking scott free

Not now

When all we can do is just take a knee

Chorus

But not now

Women are threatened, torn and abused

Not now

Even children attacked, the altar accused

Not now

They sit on the highest court in the land

Not now

Her screams are suppressed with his laughing hand

Chorus

But not now

As the hands of time, they steal from my coat

Not now

They try to erase every word that I wrote

Not now

As the sun forces me on through the day

Not now

These moments with you are fading away

Chorus

Fallen Leaves

I walked in the bedroom, the window was open

For all your fears to fly away

Picked up the gun next to your blood stained glasses

On the floor where they lay

And somewhere out among the fallen leaves

I thought I heard a cry

Like a question no one asks or even sees

Like the sound of a love that wouldn’t die

You were still warm, but I felt a chill

And the sun on this dark day still shined

All was silent but the echoes of the shot

Still rang very clearly in my mind

And somewhere out among the fallen leaves

I know I heard a cry

Like an answer we all hear, no one believes

And it sleeps in our beds like a lie

I close my eyes and I try to imagine

Waking up to find it’s just a dream

In the end I reach the conclusion

That nothing is ever what it seems

And somewhere out among the fallen leaves

As I listen for the call

Drifting, motionless in the breeze

I hear the last one fall

Standing Alone In Time

Well, you’re 99 years old

What can you tell me that I haven’t heard

Come on Gramps give to me just one

timeless word of wisdom

You could walk through the canyons on his face

He spoke as he stared into space

You’re born

And you die

And somewhere in between

You find a place to hide your conscience

While you go on searchin’ for just

one fleeting moment of grace

Chorus:

Standing alone in time

Standing

You’re 25

What can you tell me since you’re so alive

Come on Sonny-boy just show me

one tiny flame of truth

Burning from your youth

First you walk

Then you crawl

And somewhere on the floor you see the meaning of life

and you reach down to get it

As soon as you touch it, you forget it and you’re...

Chorus

Well I hold you in my arms

As I look into your eyes

I know I must be desperate

To look for answers here

When the half-empty glass is so clear

With all the words she could have spoken

I swear she said, "You must be jokin’!"

You’re first

Or you’re last

It doesn’t really matter

If you’re slow or you’re fast

Or if you know where you’re goin’

You’re there and you don’t even know it"

Chorus:

Standing together in time

Standing

Repeat Chorus

Deserts...cont.

Move On

Oh-o-o-o-o, you do your time

Learn your lines

Touch someone and move on

Oh-o-o-o-o, it’s right and wrong

You do your time

Touch someone and move on

And nothing stands

Nothing stands alone

Gone With A Trace

I was watching the game

And I saw my life go by real fast

I try to live for today

But, you know it doesn’t last

I feel the whole world turning

While I’m just standing by

Take a breath of mountain air

From someone else’s life

Chorus:

I can’t stand on the sidelines

Look in the mirror and count the lines on my face

When you lie here beside me

Just a moment together, then gone with a trace

Gone with a trace

In the moment it takes

Is the moment that we’re in

I know a thousand lives

Can dance on the head of a pin

I feel the whole world turning

I’m just standing still

You can’t change your life with someone else’s will

Chorus:

I won’t stand on the sidelines

Look in the mirror and count the lines on my face

When you lie here beside me

Just a moment forever, then gone with a trace

Gone with a trace

Sometimes an old wine can make your life feel new

So, pour me a glass and I will drink it with you

I feel the whole room turning, and you’re turning too

When you’re in my life, it always feels so new

Chorus:

I won’t stand on the sidelines

Look in the mirror and count the lines on my face

When you lie here beside me

Just a moment together, then gone with a trace

Gone with a trace

I was watching the game

When I saw my life go by real fast

Lonely Island

I live in darkness, waiting for the day

The day that you come walking through my door

Like a lonely island in a stormy sea

I wake to find you sleeping on my shore

Chorus:

As the sun rises slowly you come to me

The seagulls they dive into the tide

And I know that you’ve come here to set me free

You walk alone, tides rise and then they fall

Your footprints are gone without a trace

In another country, in another world

Somehow, I will recognize your face

Chorus:

As the sun rises slowly you’ll come to me

The seagulls will dive into the tide

And I know that you’ll come here to set me free

Sea of time has captured me

Later in the evening, thinking about you

Another orb is crawling ‘cross the sky

She is as graceful when her lips touch softly

The rain of the night I sometimes cry

Chorus:

As the moon rises slowly you come to me

The gulls turn and dive into the sea

And I know that there’s no way to rescue me

Only in your chains am I free

Hold me in your chains and I’m free

You're Surrounded

Well, I was minding my own business

Walking the straight line

But, once again you caught me

Does it have to happen every time

Chorus:

Come out with your hands up you’re surrounded

Through the front door and come clean

We’ll go easy on you promise

No escape, and don’t make a scene

I thought that you would be enough and

That I’d outgrown

All of the sweet temptations

Of the unknown

Well, I found myself in the embrace of

A young dream

But, what I thought to be street legal

Was just seventeen now

Chorus:

Come out with your hands up you’re surrounded

Through the front door and come clean

We’ll go easy on you promise

No escaping the machine

I just want to know

I know I can’t give you love

That I can be sure

And I know I can’t have your love

But, can you be true

I don’t want to lie to you

Will you give me more?

Anymore and I’d die for you

Well, I’m back on the street again and

I know how it feels

To have a pack of hungry dogs

Always snapping at my heels

Come on and take me

If you think you can

‘Cause you ain’t goin’ nowhere baby

That I ain’t been, so…

Chorus:

Come out with your hands up you’re surrounded

Through the front door and come clean

I’ll go easy on you promise

Girl, you know just what I mean

I just want to know

I know I can’t give you love

That I can be sure

I know I can’t have your love

But, can you be true

I don’t want to lie to you

And will you give me more

Come on baby

You can do it

Deserts Of California

Recorded 2019-2020

All songs and parts written, performed, and produced by Frank Bengier

Tracks

The Promise
Eyes Of Sorrow
It Changes
Deserts of California
Familiar
Justice
Fallen Leaves
Standing Alone In Time
Move On
Gone With A Trace
Lonely Island
You're Surrounded

Liner Notes

Life is like a boxing match. Sometimes your corner wants to throw in the towel. But at some point, there was a Promise made... The Promise that we wouldn't be given more than we could handle.

Eyes Of Sorrow was one of the first songs that I ever wrote. And it wears a cloak of naivete and obvious forced rhyming schemes and yes, I am still my own worse critic.

My brother had a house up in the Sierras. I've made that drive form L.A. several times. And every time, when I'd be out in the desert, it seemed like the only radio stations I could get were evangelist preachers trying to save my soul... or maybe trying to take money off of honest sinners like me. Anyway, I was thinking about one of those desert road-trips when I wrote Deserts Of California.